Today, countries around the world will observe St. Patrick’s Day, celebrating the most commonly recognized of the patron saints of Ireland. People around the world will celebrate the life of a saint in true saintly spirit, by heading out to the local bar, drinking green beer and getting plastered.

In Chicago every year, the Chicago River is dyed green and last year the north fountain at the White House was dyed green as well. There are parades all over North America, with the largest being held in Boston and New York, cities that are home to the largest Irish populations in the U.S.

I remember in school we celebrated St. Patrick’s Day by simply wearing something green. If someone wasn’t wearing green you would go up and pinch that person. There would be shamrocks made out of construction paper on all of the walls in the school. Of course, all of the boys would make the obligatory shillelagh jokes that none of the girls at that age would understand. I don’t think many of the boys at that age understood them either!

We used to love the “Shamrock Shakes” that McDonald’s would serve up for this one special day of the year.

So, while the world will celebrate another St. Patrick’s Day tonight, for me it’ll be another night of the same old thing.

In bed by 8 and asleep by 9.

Maybe I’ll celebrate the life of a great saint by wearing green underwear to bed.

Well, the government has spoken and Colin Thatcher will not be getting a penny from the profits of his book. At least not directly.

The law states that criminals can’t profit from recounting their crimes. It’s not an unusual law. It was a similar law in New York that barred former Gambino Crime Family underboss Sammy Gravano from profiting from his book after he turned states evidence and put his boss John Gotti and lots of other mobsters behind bars for a long time.

The law stipulated that profits from the Gravano book would go towards the families of his 19 murder victims!

The Saskatchewan government said that it doesn’t want Thatcher to profit directly or indirectly from his crimes. He obviously won’t profit “directly,” but profiting “indirectly” could be tougher for the government to stop.

If the profits from his book goes to his victims family, then guess where the money will go? To his children. Who says the kids won’t give their dad some or even all of the money?

I’m not really sure what to make of this law. Would the government have gone after him this way if he wasn’t a former politician? Is this law supposed to be a deterrent to people who believe that killing a person, spending 25 years in prison, and then writing a book about it, the new “get rich quick” scheme of the 21st century? I know I’d certainly find a different path to riches, even before this law was passed.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that you shouldn’t kill another human being. If you do, then you serve the time that society deems appropriate. For Colin Thatcher, he owed society 25 years, and he paid that debt in full. Was that long enough? According to Canadian law it was.

Being a “true crime” buff, if I ran across his book I’d probably buy it. I certainly wouldn’t go out of my way to get it. I don’t care where the profit goes. It’s a story that people of this province will talking about 100 years from now.

Not only talking about, but reading about as well.

It sure is great to see less snow everyday. Roof tops are mostly snow free and you can actually see the sidewalks and roads. There was one minor problem left to take care of.

Tired of actually having to jump over the water puddle on the street next to my car, I decided it was time to clear the ice that was covering the sewer in front of the house. As in many cases around the Lewis household, the decision was made for me by my wife, who came into the house Friday after work with very wet feet. “Get that sewer cleared up.” It was not a request.

No problem. Knowing that the sewer is directly in front of the tree just behind where I park my car, I headed into the shed to grab the steel pole that I use to smash the ice. Trouble is, I can’t find where I put the pole after using it for the exact same thing last spring. Oh well. I do find a heavy shovel and a pitchfork. That’ll do.

So, it’s into my boots and out to the street. The ice cover is pretty thick, but within 10 minutes I’ve made it to the sewer and the water starts to drain away from my car. That’s not the problem though. It’s my wife who made me do this, so it better be the water from around “her” vehicle that drains into the sewer or it won’t be mission accomplished.

Now I take the shovel and dig out some trenches so the water can drain away from her vehicle. This is kind of fun. It reminds me of when I was a kid and used to play in the mud, making river banks so water could run a course that I designed.

After I was finished I went back into the house and bragged to my wife about what a great job I did and how dry her feet would be when she got home from work on Monday. You’d think I’d built the Taj Mahal or something.

Nothing wrong with taking pride in a job well done.

Puddle is gone and, best of all, I put the shovel and pitchfork right back in the shed, exactly where I found them.

Now I’m all set for next spring when it’s time to de-ice the sewer!

I was watching American Idol last night and I must admit, for the most part, the voters got it right. They nailed it with the guys, but messed up with the girls. The two that stayed should have been the two that were sent packing, but I guess it was close enough that it really wasn’t a calamity.

Now we’re getting down to the part of the show that I enjoy, but it’s also the part that annoys me the most. This is now the time when the show becomes less of a talent show and more of a popularity contest.

There are a couple of singers, one guy and one girl, that should be in the final three. Either could win it right now. Problem is, neither has what you’d call the “looks” of a star. Personally, I could care less what one looks like. After all, it is a singing competition. This is where the vote gets a little skewered as the show rolls on. No matter how bad a singer might be on a certain night, if he or she is “cute” they will move on. Let’s face it, aside from Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood, you’d be hard pressed to remember more than 4 or 5 other names that’ve come up through the ranks.

Another thing I can’t understand is why in the world the show would bring in Ellen DeGeneres as a judge. She knows nothing about music and aside from commenting on personality and clothes, she offers up nothing constructive like the rest of the judges do. Randy, Kara and Simon know the business inside and out. Why does Idol need more than those three?

Just wondering.

This week I’ve been to the Regina General Hospital to visit a young family member who, if all goes well, should be home before the end of the weekend.

I’ll be happy to see her home, not only because I absolutely hate hospitals, but also because of the parking problem that I wasn’t aware existed at the hospital.

Yesterday was the worst. When I got to the hospital, at around 10:30 A.M., there were already 8 cars lined up to enter the parking lot. The sign at the lot entrance said the lot was full, but that didn’t turn those cars ahead of me away. I am not the most patient person in the world, so I turned the car around and decided to back head out and drive around the block looking for a spot. Seeing as the weather wasn’t that bad I decided I could walk a block or two.

I ended up driving around the hospital twice with no luck. If I didn’t make it up to the room for a visit, I wanted to able to say that at least I did my darndest to find a spot.

When I finally gave up, I headed west on 15th Avenue to Broad St. where I actually found a spot right on the corner. I drove around the block hoping that no one else would grab the spot before I got back. There were a lot of cars circling the hospital, but fortunately no one wanted to park that far away. Under the circumstances I was quite happy to find a spot 3 1/2 blocks from my destination.

I was just thankful that I didn’t have to drive myself to the hospital for some kind of medical emergency. I would have been “SOL” as my mom used to say.

Just a heads up to those heading off to the General Hospital for a visit anytime soon. Get there early… or bring along some very comfortable shoes.

Driving along 12th Avenue on my way to work this morning I noticed that all of the mailboxes along the street were pushed over and half on the street. Boy, talk about your rocket scientists!

I’ve never know the thrill of toppling a mailbox. Must be a great feeling to know that you’ve outwitted an inanimate piece of metal.

The people who do this must be in it for the thrill of the hunt. Think about it. Mailbox topplers must stalk their prey from afar before moving in, ever so slowly and cautiously. They have to set their sights on the mailbox they want, knowing in the backs of their minds that there might be other topplers out there spying the same target. They must be ever so quiet, so as not to alert the box to it’s impending doom. At this point, the poor mailbox doesn’t stand a chance. It’s all alone in this world, it’s parents long ago transported to some other dark and cold street corner in the far reaches of the city. Who know’s? Maybe it’s parents were felled a long time ago on another chilly winter morning.

It’s sad, but understandable. A mailbox can be man’s worst nightmare, ready to pounce on an unsuspecting human in the blink of an eye. These have to be taken down. They are dangerous.

This is obviously not a job for the faint of heart and one that can only be accomplished in the wee hours of the morning by very brave individuals.

To all those who roam the city streets after midnight knocking over these dangerous mailboxes, I salute you.

Thank you for keeping our city safe.

Here we are into week 1 or 2 of another “Roll Up The Rim To Win” campaign courtesy of Tim Hortons. I don’t know how many times I’ve rolled up the rim over the last couple of weeks, but I can tell you that I haven’t won anything. Tim’s is offering up a lot of prizes, including over 31 million food prizes, like a coffee or doughnut. When I buy a coffee I don’t expect to win any of the big prizes, but I wouldn’t mind picking up a doughnut or coffee. Nothing makes you feel like more of a loser than knowing that there are 31 million food prizes up for grabs and you can’t even win one of those.

I usually don’t drink a lot of coffee from Tim Hortons because I hate waiting in line for an hour, but during the contest I’ll bite the bullet and wait my turn.

It reminds me of when I was a kid. I’d buy something I didn’t like just for the chance of getting something. I remember buying pop I didn’t like just because there was a chance of winning another free pop. The pop company would put little rubber lining underneath the pop cap that you could peel off and maybe win a prize. Trouble was, those liners were so tough to get out that I’d find myself in the kitchen with a paring knife gouging the bottom of the pop cap. Geez, what could possibly go wrong there?

I remember getting my Mom to buy Count Chocula cereal just because there was a prize in there. I would never eat the cereal, I just wanted the prize!

Here I am at 47 years of age doing the same thing I did when I was 10. Some things never change!

I have to go now. I just finished my coffee and it’s time to “Roll Up The Rim!”

Well another year has come and gone for Telemiracle and what a success. At more than $4 million it was the second most successful Telemiracle ever!

I never watch the whole show, but I am always going back to check on the local talent and the new totals. We do have some great talent around the province!

One of my favorite things about Telemiracle is all of the great stories of how a community, or a town, or a service club get together to raise money. Whether it’s $182 or $1,820 these people not only collect the money, but they come in from all parts of the province to be at Telemiracle to make a live presentation.

What I’ve always wondered about is how much money the Kinsmen and Kinettes clear from the telethon. They definately pay CTV air time for the full 20 hours. They not only pay all of the performers, but they fly them out here and put them up in a hotel for a night or two. I imagine Bob McGrath commands quite a fee as would Beverly Mahood. They do a great job and are obviously worth the money. Then comes the cost of renting out the Conexus Arts Centre, catering and so on. Although this is a great cause, believe me, none of the performers give of their time freely. They get paid and paid well.

All in all a great 20 hours for Saskatchewan, which has proven time and time again, the when it comes to helping others, we are second to no one!

Yesterday morning on the show, Willy and I were talking about the government looking at changing the words to ” O Canada” to make it “gender neutral.”

Our daily poll showed that over 98% of the people who took the poll did not want the lyrics changed. I checked polls across the country and they were all the same, with well over 90% of Canadians feeling the same way…leave well enough alone!

I mentioned on the show that I don’t even know the lyrics to our national anthem. I’m sure if I thought hard enough I would remember, but off the top off my head, without help, I’d be a little lost.

I received an email from a lady who was sorry to hear that I didn’t know the words. I’m betting that I’m not the only one. How often do you sing the national anthem anyway, unless you’re at a sporting event?
I do remember singing the national anthem in elementary school, but we didn’t do that in either junior or senior high.

I don’t consider myself a bad Canadian for not knowing the words. It’s not even that I don’t know the words, it’s just that I can’t remember them off the top of my head. If I heard them once I’d remember them. It’s not that big of a deal.

And I don’t consider myself a bad Canadian for saying that I think the Russian national anthem is the most beautiful and patriotic sounding anthem anywhere. If that anthem doesn’t make the hairs on your arms stand up then nothing will. Love the Russian national anthem, but very proud to be Canadian. It’s the best place in the world to live.

I have to work at the Regina Pats game tonight. Before the game I think I’ll have a quick gander at the lyrics for “O Canada,” stand at attention, and sing along like a proud Canadian!

Unless you live in a cave you are aware of the guest at City Hall that showed up wearing nothing but his birthday suit. This guy has got to be nuts, not for showing up naked, but for doing it at this time of the year. You thought the wind chill was bad fully clothed!

The story reminded me of my brief, yet successful streaking career back in high school. In Lethbridge I attended Lethbridge Collegiate Institute, the largest high school in the city. A couple of weeks before graduation, the grade 12 girls were planning on a barbeque and get together at the Research Station on the eastern edge of the city. The facility had lots of space and barbeques designed for large gatherings like the one girls gad planned. At least 200 of the female grads planned on being there…and so did I, along with a couple of buddies. However, our reason for being there was totally different from the girls.

From the minute we heard about the gathering, me and a few friends thought that what the girls needed was a few men in the buff running right through the middle of the crowd to liven things up. There were a few teachers that were going to be there as well, but that didn’t figure into our planning.

Before long, just about everyone knew what we were planning on doing, but no one said a word to any of the teachers. Some people probably thought we wouldn’t go through with it, but others who knew us knew it was a forgone conclusion.

There would five of us in the car. Three of us would get butt naked wearing only balaclavas. The driver would drop us off and then drive to the other end of the meeting area so we could make a quick getaway. Good plan. Nothing worse than 3 naked guys running around looking for the getaway car! Another guy was along just for the ride.

Everything went as planned. The girls screamed and yelled as we barreled through the crowd of 200 plus. They all laughed, but the teachers just kind of stared with their mouths hanging open. It was done in 30 seconds and the getaway car was right where is was supposed to be.

The next day the girls all came up me and my buddies and said that was the most fun they’d had in a long time. Not to brag, but I had 4 marriage proposals after that! Every one of the teachers that were present asked me if I knew anything about the “3 Naked Amigos,” but I played dumb, naturally well. Not one person ratted us out!

After that I hung up my streaking outfit for good. Might as well quit while your ahead.

Maybe the city hall streaker will wrap up his streaking career as well.

Then again, he might just “stick it out” for one more run!