Anyone who’s driven anywhere in the city has obviously run across a vehicle or two that shouldn’t be parked in a back alley let alone driving on a city street.

The house next door has one of those vehicles. I don’t even know these people. I haven’t met them, so I couldn’t even tell you what kind of people they are. Judging by the car they drive though, I kind of have an idea.

A few months ago I noticed a car parked behind my wife’s for a couple of days in a row. I’d never seen it before that, so I went out and had a look, thinking it might have been stolen and just ditched in front of our house. It sure had all of the signs of being stolen. The rear passenger and front driver windows were both smashed out and there was litter in the back seat that reminded me of something that had come out of a ripped open garbage bag. However, the telltale sign of a stolen car, the ignition switch, was intact. Mmmm, maybe this was just a messy person who doesn’t mind driving around minus two windows. I decided to let it go before calling the cops.

Sure enough, the next morning the car was gone and the next afternoon it was back. I thought maybe this person was just visiting friends who live next door. But he’s there daily, so he obviously lives there.

About a month ago I came home and noticed that this ugly car just got uglier. The frame on the driver’s door that holds the window(which was still out) was pushed halfway to the front of the door. It looked like he had backed into something that caught the driver’s door and pushed it forward. It looked like someone had taken a can opener to it. It also pushed the door far enough ahead that the door won’t even close. No problem. For that, he uses one of the thick rubber bands with hooks at each end to wrap around the door jam to keep it closed. The thick rubber band is the kind used to secure a tarp to the back of a truck for covering a load.

Rain can be a problem if you own a car that’s missing two windows and a door that doesn’t close, but this guy has quite the solution. He covers the rear window and the driver’s side window with winter jackets. That’s right. Jackets. He uses two for both windows. When he gets up in the morning to go where ever he goes, he just tosses all four jackets on his lawn so they are ready when he gets home. Incredible.

I almost feel like calling the cops to have them get this car off of the road, but I don’t want to rat this guy out. Really, it’s none of my business.

It’s almost like taking a trip to Arkansas without even leaving the yard!

Last night after supper I headed out to the gas station to put some gas in my wife’s vehicle. I’m the only one that ever seems to do it.

The conversation that led to my gas run was very familiar. When my wife got home from work I told her to get out of her work clothes and put on a pair of sweats because supper would be ready in minutes. She said “I can’t, because I have to go out and get some gas after we eat.” I wondered, as I always do, why she wouldn’t stop for gas on the way home, or on the way to work in the morning? The answer is quite simple. Because she wants me to do it for her. It’s a lot easier that way. Plus, the 10 minutes it takes me to go to the gas station and back is just enough time for her to gain control of the remote control for the night.

This always happens. I can’t remember the last time she put gas in her own vehicle. To be honest, I don’t know how she ever made it around anywhere before I came along. She must have paid a lot of towing charges. Her car must have been parked, out of gas, all over the city before we got together. I probably drove by her car on some side street many times, not knowing that the owner of that car would have me to rely on one day.

Yes, it’s been over 6 years now that she hasn’t had to walk 3 blocks to a pay phone to call a towing company. She was probably the best customer to one or two companies back then. She probably put the owner’s children through college.

Well, I’m happy to say that those days are over. She has someone to go get gas for her whenever she needs it.

I’m glad to know that I was put on this earth for a reason. I never knew what that reason was until I really got to thinking about it last night…on my way to the gas station.

I finally know my station in life. Unfortunately, it’s a gas station.

Well, the last long weekend of summer has come and gone. It feels like summer has just started, even though we really get much of one.

Yesterday, a sure sign summer is on the way out. It’s called the “Lumsden Duck Derby.”

I’ve MC’d the dropping of the ducks for about 10 years now.This year the event sold 14,800 ducks at $5 a pop. Lots of great prizes with a grand prize of $20,000. 3 years ago they added a million dollar feature. Every 3,333rd duck sold is a potential million dollar winner.If any of those ducks comes first,it’s worth $40,000 for 25 years!

Due to the inclement weather, the parade route was lined with less people than usual and activities were moved from the beer garden into the hall. But everything went well.

As always I bought my $20 worth and then raced home and waited for the phone call from Lumsden! Nothing….again.

The odds of winning are a lot better than the regular lottery. A 4 in 14,800 chance of winning is a lot better than the 1 in over 13 million that the 6-49 affords you.

I’ve never been lucky at winning anything. No one in my family has that kind of luck. I always figure that if anyone in the family wins anything at least I should pick up a small chunk of change.

I love the stories about these people who win huge amounts of money, but still say they’ll go back to work. What? Are these people stupid or something? My uncle won free fries at McDonald’s and he quit his job for goodness sakes!

The way I look at it is my odds of winning any lottery are 50-50.

I either win or I don’t!

Barter is a method of exchange by which goods or services are directly exchanged for other goods or services without using a medium of exchange, such as money.

Between my neighbor and I, the barter system is alive and well. Last night it started with a lawn mower that didn’t work.

I was watching TV last night after mowing my lawn. I was thinking how my newly cut lawn made my neighbor’s stick out like a sore thumb. Our lawns were the same length, but now his looked like a jungle compared to mine. I’m sure he got home after work, looked out his front window and cursed. Sure enough, he couldn’t leave his lawn looking like that! So out came his lawn mower. I heard it start and run for about 5 minutes before I heard it sputter and then die a slow agonizing death.

Perfect! I was just telling my wife the day before how it’s time to take the window air conditioner out of our bedroom and pack it away for the winter. My neighbor always helps me put it in and take it out. I always offer him a twenty dollar bill, which he gladly accepts like it was the last $20 in circulation. Not this time.

I called next door and asked him what happened to his lawn mower. He said it died. I chuckled to myself. Now was the time to swoop in for the kill. I decided to resort to the old barter system, put in place so many years ago and designed for a situation just like this.

I told my nieghbor I’d mow his front lawn for him if he’d come over and help me take the air conditioner out of the window.

He thought it was a great idea. So did I. There’s no way he’s getting another $20 from me this year!

In less than an hour, his lawn was mowed and my air conditioner was out.

Ahhh…the art of the barter.

The CMA nominees were announced over the last couple of days and, to me, it’s no surprise that Miranda Lambert leads the pack with 9 nominations. This gal has had quite a year.

If you listen to Willy and I everyday, then you’ll know that I have a tongue-in-cheek dislike going on for Miranda. It all started when she snubbed me at the Craven Country Jamboree this year!

When we’re at Craven, we’re in a “hurry up and wait” mode all weekend. We have to go on stage to introduce the performers, but in between that time we sit and wait, with microphone in hand, to do interviews with stars that you might see milling about backstage. Interviews for the Jumbotron, the huge screens you see on either side of the stage, are set up by Craven personnel. We meet with the film crew at a certain time and place and record a 3-4 minute interview that is played just before the act comes on stage. For radio interviews we’re on our own.

We aren’t supposed to bug the performers as they walk around backstage. Sometimes their tour bus will arrive behind the stage a day early, so instead of sitting on the bus, the singers will hang around backstage doing whatever they want to do. I remember a few years ago watching Tim McGraw and his crew play a game of flag football for about an hour. Whenever I see someone, I grab them and ask them politely if they’d grant me an interview on the radio. 99% say they’d love to, knowing that they owe a big part of their success to radio. The odd time you’ll get someone who’ll tell you to buzz off. Welcome to Miranda Lambert’s world!

As Miranda passed me backstage this year, I approached her and requested an interview. She looked at me like I had insulted her mother and told me to talk to her road manager! Sure. Hey, everybody has a grouchy day. No problem. 20 minutes later, Kim Blevins, who handles everything backstage, came up and asked me if I had approached Miranda. I replied I had. Kim mentioned that Miranda had told her road manager that some “radio guy” had asked her for an interview. My god! Not an interview!

For the next hour or two, Miranda walked past me 5 or 6 times and gave me the “eye” that more or less said “if you bug me again I’ll run and tattle on you again!” After all, I’m only a mere mortal. Who am I to annoy the great Miranda Lambert?

I didn’t understand what all of the fuss was about. I’ve interviewed some of country music’s biggest stars backstage. Way bigger than Miranda. They were all very accomodating.

I’m glad she’s nominated 9 times and I hope she wins. She’s one talented lady and good for the industry.

I’m also glad she snubbed me backstage. I’m sure she’s a great lady and it just makes for a great story. Maybe one day when I finally interview her I’ll bring it up. That is, after I check with her road manager just to make sure it’s Ok!

The new TV season is upon us! No more re-runs.

Last night I watched the new episodes of Pawn Stars, which is one of my favorite shows on TV.

One of the most hyped new shows this fall actually lends itself to the old adage “everything old is new again.” It’s the new Hawaii Five-O. It stars Aussie actor Alex O’Loughlin as McGarrett and Scott Caan as Danny.

It just doesn’t seem the same without the trademark hair that Jack Lord brought to the McGarrett character. Even as a kid I loved the hair. It seemed to me as a kid that the only person whose hair was higher on their head was my mom.

My favorite part of Hawaii Five-O was the famous post arrest line delivered by McGarrett. “Book ‘em Danno.” I looked so forward to hearing that line. It’s probably one of the most famous lines from a TV series ever! I know I’ve never forgotten it.

The show actually had a pretty good run, going from 1968- 1980.

I’m not sure whether or not they should remake some of the classics from the 60’s. I can’t remember whether or not the story lines were that great. After all, I was only a kid. Some series have a certain magic that seems to capture the imagination of people at that time. Would you remake Gilligan’s Island, The Brady Bunch or The Partridge Family? They just don’t seem like they would fit in with today’s values.

Then again, cop shows have always been popular, especially when they’re set in a tropical location.

Only time will tell.

One thing I do know. I hope they don’t plan on a remake of Corner Gas 30 years from now. Then again, maybe it’ll be funny next time around.

Yesterday morning, one of the local water heater companies in the city came over and serviced our water heater. They do it every 2 years and it gives me a chance to kill two birds with one stone. Instead of driving across town to pay my yearly rental fee, I just give the money to the service guy when he’s finished and he takes it back to the shop with him.
We pay all of our bills online, so this is the only bill that we actually have to drive somewhere to pay. We could send a cheque, but honestly, I can’t remember the last time I pad with a cheque for anything.

I remember when I was growing up, my mom used a cheque for everything. Groceries, clothes, school supplies, the milkman, the breadman. It didn’t matter, they were all paid for that way. There were no bank cards or ATM’s or Interac back in those days. I can’t imagine having to actually go to the bank everyday, unless there was a cute teller working there. But even that has changed. Whenever I went to the bank it seemed that all of the tellers were old and unattractive. In fairness though, when you’re a teenager, everyone looks old!

I’ve known bank tellers over the years that are very attractive and I don’t even have to visit a bank anymore. Just my luck.

The funny part is that the less I have to visit my bank, the more fees I get charged! Great gig if you can get it!

I’m back!

That’s it for vacation time until December. God, it seems so far away! I really could live a life of leisure if it wasn’t for the money part. I bought lottery tickets during my week away, but here I sit early on a Monday morning.

The trouble with working this early shift is that the routine doesn’t change when I get away. It’s always in bed by 9 and up early. Everyday last week I found myself waking up 2 or 3 times a night starting at around midnight. I would love to have one day a weekend where I go to bed at 9 and not wake up until 9 or 10 the next morning. Well, at least I wake up, which certainly beats the alternative!

I always seem to have plans that never come to fruition. One thing we did get done was to install one of those environmentally friendly toilets, but to be honest I didn’t have to do a thing except watch my buddy do all of the work! I liked that part. For the rest of the day I used the toilet more than I usually would, thinking of all of the water I was saving each time I flushed. It doesn’t take a lot to please me!

Well it’s back to work for a run into the fall, hoping the weather this September will be as nice as it was last year.

We deserve it!

This morning on the way to work I actually counted the number of traffic lights I have to go through on my way to work. 16. Somedays it seems like I hit every red light and on others it’s like they’re all green. This morning I hit 5 red lights.

The first light I hit is on 4th and Lewvan. That one is usually a write-off. It is always red when I come up to it. This morning however, I got lucky. It turned green just as I pulled up to it. Wow! This is going to be a great day after all!

The next red I hit is on 4th and Elphinstone. I really don’t like waiting even a minute or two at this light at 3:30 in the morning. There are always people milling about that area. Fortunately that’s the last light before I get to Albert St.

After that it’s pretty smooth sailing until I hit the corner of Albert and Sask. Dr. That’s another light that always seems to be red.

The worst run of lights is on Victoria Ave. between Albert and Broad. The first one I hit is always different from the rest down the row. This morning I hit a red light right off the bat. I noticed that all of the other lights down Victoria Ave. are green. Why wouldn’t they all be green? Wouldn’t it make sense to keep traffic flowing? Sure enough as soon as my set of lights turns green, all of the rest turn red! By the time I make it through a few more intersections and get to Rose St. to make a left turn, the stupid thing turns red.

The final intersection I have to get through is at 12th and Rose. I can’t remember the last time that light was green. I always have to wait. I always debate whether or not I should just stop and then go through anyway. Then I hear my dear wife’s voice in the back of my head saying, “patience dear. Patience.” I’ve heard that phrase a million times over the course of our marriage, which will be 6 years tomorrow Aug. 21.

Sometimes she hates riding in the same car as me.

I wonder why? Must be all the red lights I hit!

I’m off for another week! This blog will return the same day I do…Aug. 30.

Yesterday afternoon I was broadcasting from the Co-Operators Centre at Evraz Place for the 2010 Royal Red Arabian Show. I’d never been to the Centre before. As a matter of fact I even had to ask where it was! I was absolutely floored by the complex. If you haven’t been down yet, make it a point to do so.

I broadcast every year from the Royal Red and I was surprised that a few of the “horse people” actually remembered me and came up and said hi. They didn’t remember the name, just the face. Most people who travel around with Arabian horses obviously have money, but they sure don’t act like it. They’re very down to earth.

A lot of the vendors in the tradeshow area, which is in the Co-Operators Centre, are at the show year after year. One vendor known as “The Hat Lady” actually follows the Royal Red on it’s entire circuit. Everybody knows her.

I was amazed this year at all of the dogs at the show. Everywhere you looked, horse owners were taking a break by walking their dogs. I was talking to a couple of girls from Leduc, Alberta, who were taking their dogs for a stroll. One had a mutt that she said was 13 years old. The poor thing looked like all it wanted to do was head back to the trailer and spend the rest of the day lying around! The other girl had a Great Dane. I can’t remember the last time I saw one of those dogs, but I certainly can’t remember it being that large. That is one big dog! I don’t know if I’d want to have a dog that big. I’ve only had one thought in mind whenever I’ve gotten a dog. “If it turns on me, could I take it?” Needless to say, I’m a lap dog kind of guy.

With no rodeo going on, you really have to be a horse lover to take in the Royal Red, and judging by the amount of people there yesterday, there is no shortage of those.