A couple of weeks ago I decided I’d get a little fancy in the kitchen and make up something different for supper. What I needed was a rolling pin. I looked in our utensil drawer, sure that I had seen a rolling pin in there before. Alas, there was no rolling pin anywhere, which really wasn’t that big of a deal. I figured the less number of kitchen utensils that could double as potential weapons around the house that could fall into the hands of my wife, the better. Hey, a man’s got to protect himself!

If I was at my parents house in Lethbridge I know I could have found a rolling pin. My mom was always baking pies and bread and I’d seen her use that thing a million times. Mom and dad always seemed to have everything.

So, instead of a rolling pin, I used a big baggie and a meat tenderizer. That did as good a job as good as a rolling pin would have done, but in using the meat tenderizer I realized something very important. My wife had access to another weapon that could potentially do greater harm than a rolling pin could do. Plus, it would leave a pretty funny pattern on my face!

During my search for the rolling pin I realized there are way too many things in our utensil drawer that my wife could use to club me upside the head. There are really only two solutions to this problem.

One is to be on my best behaviour. The other is to go out and buy myself some kind of a helmet.