ESTEVAN — Tyler Smith has taken his experiences as a survivor of the 2018 Humboldt Broncos bus crash and a champion on The Amazing Race Canada to become a sought-after speaker on mental health.
Smith was the guest speaker at the Courage and Community dinner organized by the Estevan Community Wellness Committee on Jan. 19 at the Beefeater Plaza. After some initial humour, Smith talked to the crowd about hockey, life and the 2018 collision that killed 16 people aboard the Broncos’ bus.
“This is just purely my story, and this is just purely the last 7 1/2 years of my life and what I’ve learned,” he said.
Connection, conversation and perspective
Smith addressed the importance of connection, conversation and perspective throughout his speech, adding community could be included.
“There’s connections in your life that can lead to conversations and can really help change your perspective. For me, today, I can’t believe how many perspective shifts I’ve had just solely from experiences I’ve had with people like yourself.”
Five people he has encountered as a speaker helped shift that perspective: an ambitious 12-year-old farmer; an Indigenous drummer whose best friend had recently committed suicide; an 80-year-old man whose wife had died; and two oil-and-gas workers who were looking for happiness.
“There’s so much power in my story but there’s so much power in your story as well,” said Smith.
He also noted he continues to speak so the people who survived the Broncos’ bus crash won’t be forgotten, and he wants to give back to those who supported him and the team.
Darcy Haugan gave him a chance
Smith grew up in Leduc, Alta., with his parents and older brother. Few realize his father is an amputee who lost a leg 30 years ago in a workplace accident in Hinton, Alta.
“For me, I was never judgemental with my dad, but I was never curious how that day 30 years ago affected him, mentally or emotionally,” he said.
Smith played his first season of junior hockey with Drayton Valley of the Alberta Junior Hockey League, skating for a team 45 minutes from his home. After he was released from Drayton Valley, he joined the Broncos, whose head coach and GM, Darcy Haugan, played junior hockey in Estevan and was a coach with the Estevan Bruins from 2000-2003.
“I called every coach in Western Canada. I’m telling every single coach I just wanted a chance somewhere. I was prolonging the fact that I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life yet, so I wanted to play some junior hockey.”
A friend who played in Humboldt connected Smith and Haugan.
“Coach Darcy Haugan was literally the only coach in Western Canada that gave me a chance,” recalled Smith.
The members of the 2017-18 Broncos had so much fun together, he said, but the Broncos also followed a core covenant that Haugan created and opened with “family first”.
“We knew every day that we walked into that dressing room that this was our family now,” said Smith.
No memories of April 6, 2018
The Broncos were heading to Nipawin to face the Hawks in Game 5 of an SJHL semifinal series when the collision occurred on April 6, 2018.
Smith said he has had countless conversations about the day. Many tell him they remember what they were doing when they heard. It was the worst day of Smith’s life, and he has zero recollection about it.
“That’s something that I’ve really struggled with, because with grief as well, when you are losing somebody in this life, you do want to remember the last: the last laugh, the last smile, the last memory, the last whatever it is. I can’t,” he said.
At the same time, it's a blessing to not have those memories because of the associated mental and emotional trauma of that day.
Smith suffered a broken collarbone that required surgery and led to severe nerve damage in his left arm. He also had a broken shoulder blade, a punctured lung and two broken ribs. Six inches of his small intestine were removed and he had a stroke. He woke up in the hospital four days after the tragedy and spent 13 days there. But he recognizes people suffered far worse injuries and 16 people died.
“I never understood the layers and magnitude of mental health,” he said. “For me, mental health was weakness, was shame, was fear, was burden, was judgement. I never wanted to be that kid around the campfire that sat around with his friends and started crying.”
“People showed up for us”
The love and support they received was the biggest reason he said he survived.
“Connection thrives when people show up for each other. People showed up for us. It’s why I have so much love for people is because you guys showed up. The sticks out on the porch, the notes, the gifts, the donations.”
But Smith said he suppressed his emotions, stemming from a desire to move on from his trauma. And he didn’t want to dump his problems on someone else.
He added he didn’t cry until the NHL award night in June 2018, when Haugan was posthumously presented with the inaugural Willie O’Ree Community Hero Award. Smith was among the survivors who accepted the award alongside Haugan’s widow Christina and two children. Smith said he was embarrassed to cry in front of so many people.
“That entire summer afterwards, I wasn’t seeking joy, I wasn’t a leader, I wasn’t seeking connection. I wasn’t resilient. I was a shell of myself,” he said.
The other night he remembers was the Humboldt Broncos home opener in September 2018. The fans needed joy, he said.
After the game, when they brought out the survivors and the members of the Haugan family to retire the jerseys of the members of the 2017-18 Broncos, Smith cried again, calling it “hysterical pain”.
“Because I was just bottling everything up and just waiting for something to happen, it came out in those moments,” he said.
Smith admits he has survivor’s guilt, and he says he will never understand why he survived.
Ten-game comeback
Smith felt compelled to come back and play the following season for all his teammates who died or who couldn’t return, and for those who supported the team after the collision. He played 10 games in the 2018-19 season and then left the Broncos.
He said he wasn’t finding joy in hockey any longer. He went home to his billet parents and told them he was struggling.
“My billet mom … bearhugged me, and she looked me dead in the eyes and she said ‘You’re going to promise me you’ll seek help,’” Smith recalled.
It forced Smith to say what he views as the three most vulnerable words possible: “I need help”. His billet mother led with empathy, emotion, compassion and empowerment. There was a connection that led to a conversation that shifted his perspective.
Smith went home, started attending therapy and still goes today. The therapist created a safe space where he could go and talk. Smith finished his junior hockey career playing junior B in Leduc and while in Red Deer, met Katrina Kastner, who is now his wife.
She opened up about her own struggles and told him about the importance of courage, bravery and strength in taking the first step in mental health.
The Amazing Race
Smith and Kastner were on The Amazing Race Canada in 2023. They did well until they reached Toronto, where they had to rappel up a 90-foot flag pole. The injury he suffered in the bus crash was an issue.
They were in last place at one point and he thought they were finished. They rallied and emerged victorious.
“I had to remember that all I needed to do in that moment was put one foot in front of the other, as simple as it sounds,” said Smith.
During the question-and-answer session, local youth Micah Walliser asked Smith about the significance of the saying ”Slow is smooth and smooth is fast”, which was the expression of another competitor who is a double amputee. Smith said watching them run the race was a reminder of strength and resilience.
“It also made us realize that there are so many moments in life where we are allowed to slow down, we are allowed to reset and we are allowed to remember that we’re at light speed all the time, and the least we can do is reset sometimes.”
Smith hopes that everyone in the crowd is able to get something from his story.
